Halloween!

Today, in my usually over-crowded (34 on the roster!) 8/9 class (i.e. the "bad" class of this blog), there were 16 students present. At my school, the majority of kids do not attend on Halloween. Some say it's a safety issue (fear of pranks...or gangs?). Some probably cut and hang out with their friends. Anyway, it was quite a small "bad" class, and -- oh! -- what joy!

The reason I bring this up is I have a lot of anger about the size of the bad class. Last year, I taught the same double-period, remedial reading course, but there were 22 kids on the roster. We had a positive vibe in there. In fact, several students said it was their favorite class or even "the only class I like." I felt very "successful." It was still a lot of work (English teacher = constant slew of papers), but I never really felt like I had to lose my temper.

And, there was never a single day the entire year when the class would not shut up.

There are times this year when I feel like it's MUTINY in the bad class. Yesterday, A. was sitting by the window because he requested to sit alone, and the closest thing I could do to meet his request was to sit him by the window. The window is also by the book "shelves" (plastic crates). So, he grabbed a book off the shelf and held it up to the window so that it would reflect light into my eyes! This hurt. I mean, physically, it's uncomfortable to have light shining in your eyes, but it also hurt my feelings that a kid would want to do this to me. It's like he thinks of me as the enemy.

Kids thinking of me as the enemy hurts my feelings. I am not their enemy. I don't mind being the one in charge, the adult, the leader, the role model, the strict woman who holds her ground, but I don't like for them to want to cause me physical discomfort.

A. is a particular problem. His skills are low. He has trouble focusing his mind. He is easily distracted. He reads children's books -- I mean Sponge Bob type books! -- and he wiggles all the time. He can't sit still. He is the first in line to do ANYTHING except school work. I think he has little confidence in his ability to succeed in school, especially English class. Who knows what his reading level is?!?

And, in a class of 34, when 20 of them are perfectly willing to cause distractions, pass notes, freak out over who has gum, draw in their notebooks, talk, IM (but, to my credit, if I see the phones, I consistently take them), etc., A. has little chance in learning anything.

Today, A. was absent. There were no "difficult" kids in the bad class today...well, there was Q., but her most serious infraction is usually just defiantly not doing work.

I had this trouble my first year of teaching -- in a similarly over-crowded, double-period, English/Reading class. It was hell. In fact, I think 99% of the stress I feel over this class is because of the trauma of that class from my first year. I remind myself that I'm nothing like I was then and that by this time in the year, I had looooong lost that class. That makes me feel better. Yes, much better.

Anyway, today, I got to experience the bad class with 16 kids. It was lovely.

Lovely.

-mrs. b.