First Post

I am a third year English teacher at a high school in Queens, New York. I generally get a lot of satisfaction from my job, though I find it to be a tremendous amount of work. I enjoy the challenge of teaching, and there is no better feeling than seeing a student "get it." This is true to the point that I take the job of teaching very seriously...some (my husband, especially!) might say too seriously. It's a passion. It's a privilege. I sometimes feel like I want to be better at teaching than I have ever wanted to be at anything in my life.

This year, I teach three classes -- all Freshman English classes. We teach 5 periods in my district, so one freshman class is a single period, run-of-the-mill English class and 2 are double-period, "remedial" reading classes. They come from a program that I believe has been officially abandoned but that is still sort of used. It's called "Ramp-Up" and it was created by a company called America's Choice. In my district, there are (or were?) many "America's Choice" schools.

I was trained extensively in Ramp-Up. I probably spent about 11 days in training. Last year, I taught a similar schedule, 2 Ramp-Ups and 1 single period class, and I had the best year possible. Last year, I loved my classes, my students, etc. Last year, I felt I really was able to accomplish a ton with my students.

This year, out of my 3 classes, I have one "bad" class. What I mean is that I have one class that I find to be extremely challenging, mostly in terms of the behavior of the students. Because I am a third year teacher, and because I didn't really have any serious behavior issues last year, I am quite surprised at how challenging this class is. This is the class that gives me a Sunday night "dread" feeling. This is the class that made me cry last week.

The class is composed of 34 remedial readers -- a few more boys than girls -- some serious students, some resistant to learning. Over just the past 2 months of school, the class has become more and more challenging to the point that I had trouble getting their attention one day last week. I mean, I could not get their attention. They would not shut up long enough to listen no matter what I did.

There are also some boys who have taken to throwing crumpled up pieces of paper in the class. There is shouting out. It seems like everyone wants to go to the bathroom constantly. There are several late students everyday. It goes on and on...

A couple of weeks ago, I asked a teacher with about 10-11 years of experience about this class. I was crying, frustrated, angry, etc. She gave me a long lecture about how, "some kids just don't want to learn" and how I should move the "good" kids to the front of the class and ignore the others.

I don't believe that. I don't believe that some kids don't want to learn. I believe that it's very challenging to teach under certain conditions and that some classes are more difficult than others, but I believe from the bottom of my soul that every kid wants to succeed in school.

So, I am beginning this blog sort of as a challenge to myself. I want to find out if I can turn this "bad" class around, and I think the most interesting way to work on it is to write an extraordinarily honest blog documenting my efforts. It may not "work" completely. Even though it's not yet Halloween (not Quite!), this class is no longer in the "honeymoon" period, and all efforts will be met with difficulty. But, I have to try.

Everything in this blog will remain anonymous -- me, the students' names (of course!), the school information, etc.

My goal is to honestly reflect on my efforts to turn this class around.

So, here I am! I invite you to read my journey!

-Mrs. B.